For so long she has learned to live half a life, numb from feeling. She begins to put the pieces back together using art as the glue. She fills the emptiness that has been a familiar companion. Life will never be the same but for the first time in many years, she can see a future.
The lack of focus in this image was a bit part of how I felt at this moment. The myopic focus of depression only allows us to see a narrow field, but this image upon deeper inspection show the light, although out of focus, still there.
No …… you have no idea what these drugs do to us. Weight gain, feeling like a zombie, sleeping too much, losing creativity/drive and even the will to live. It is not ‘living’ when you just feel flat, no joy, no nothing…. And that is what bipolar medication does to me, and many of my friends who are bipolar. I have tried many different medications; mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, antidepressants. Psychotherapy with a psychologist is better than the medications. I only resort to taking medications when my bipolar has been ‘triggered’ by an event that really throws me into a rapid cycling state. I try to avoid triggers – but although I know what they are (personal conflict is high on that list) – I cannot stop other people from creating the conflicts that send me in a tailspin. Keeping to a routine can help to a small extent in remaining more ‘stable’. It can help for better mood management I tell people that my ‘medications’ are listening to music; going for a drive; my photograph
